To Me, My X-Men Comics! - Uncanny X-Men Issue 104
In which Scott quotes Monty Python and Magneto pops by
PREVIOUSLY IN THE UNCANNY X-MEN: Leprechauns. Yep, leprechauns.
We open at the docks, with Wolverine, Colossus, Storm, Nightcrawler and Banshee trying to hire a hovercraft, so they can go explore Maid Moira’s Island. Alas, the owner of the hovercraft is Hungarian and the ensuing language difficulties cause hilarious maritime rental misunderstandings. Eventually, the X-Men decide they have no more panels to waste, so they just take the hovercraft and speed off. The owner yells angrily (‘My hovercraft is full of mutants!1’), but to no avail. Because before they’ve even made it to the next page, the hovercraft explodes and the X-Men wash ashore on Maid Moira’s Island. Before they can even catch their breath, however, they are sucked through the wall of the island’s mutant research facility by the magnetic awesomeness of Magneto.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, Scott and Maid Moira are landing the jet. Scott’s pissed (‘How come the maid can afford an island with a research facility and a personal landing pad, while I have to borrow against my allowance to get a new pair of Ray-Bans™?’) and not thinking clearly (‘I only hope the others haven’t run into trouble’). But there’s no time to dwell on Cyclops’ pettiness or naiveté. Because there’s a shitfight going on between Magneto and the others. The other X-Men are all hopelessly outclassed and Magneto toys with them, hurling Wolverine and Colossus in particular around like the metal-based mutant meatheads they are. Luckily, Cyclops shows up and takes Magneto by surprise. He blasts him and forces him back behind a magnetic-based defensive force field.
Having bought a moment of respite from the kick-assedness of Magneto, Scott frees the others and tells them his new plan. “We’re going to run away!” he says, excitedly. “Sounds like somebody’s been watching a little too much Monty Python,” sniffs Storm. Wolverine is even less impressed. “Where were you in the opening paragraph of this recap when we had the laboured reference to Monty Python’s Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook Sketch?” Scott doesn’t answer, but instead justifies his cowardice by claiming that this attack on them was all a plan to leave Professor X defenceless, so they’re not, technically, running away from Magneto. They’re running to the rescue of Chuck. None of the others buy this at all.
MVP: Has to be Magneto. If only for the fact that he wasn’t defeated by a leprechuan, like last issue’s losers.
Next Issue: Phoenix-ey goodness! Plus, close encounters of the priggish kind
Translation: ‘Look out for Magneto while you’re on the island’