To Me, My X-Men Comics! - Uncanny X-Men Issue 118
In which earthquakes strike Japan, and the wrong villains pop by
PREVIOUSLY IN THE UNCANNY X-MEN: Charles flashed back! Then tapped out!
Suddenly, six weeks later, the X-Men arrive in Japan! There they discover that it’s on fire as a result of mysterious artificial earthquakes. They pop in to help, only to be told by that jackass Sunfire (last seen all the way back in issue 94) that they’re not needed and their help brings great shame on Japan and other such dated tropes. He probably offers them a bonsai tree at one point.
Luckily for modern readers, Sunfire is told to dial the dickishness down a few notches by special guest star, Misty Knight, who, in the grand tradition of comic book coincidences, is also Jean’s roommate. That’s enough to remind Cyclops that he should probably give the Professor a call and let him know that Jean and Beast are dead (which, of course, they’re not, but that’s the kind of information Misty keeps to herself). So he does, but only gets the answering machine: ‘Hi, you’ve reached Professor Charles Xavier. My mind’s not in at the moment, no doubt wandering the mental plane. But if you leave your name and psychic state, I’ll get back to you telepathically as soon as possible.’
Scott hangs up instead, just in time to be confronted by a) another earthquake, b) the prospect of Wolverine romancing an innocent garden-dweller, and c) Mandroids! It’s the latter that’s most infuriating. “You’re Avengers villains, you yellow, armour-plated pissants!” screams an enraged Scott, and he and the rest of the X-Men beat the living snot out of the portmanteau menaces. Triumphant, they are then confronted by a hologram of some scoundrel called Moses Magnum, Master of the Magnum Force, who promises yet more earthquakes unless he’s made the King of Japan by midnight tomorrow or next issue, whichever comes first. Nightcrawler checks the page count. “Yeah, we’re on page 17,” he says. “It’s going to have to be next issue.”
MVP: It’s gotta be Charles. We don’t see much of him this issue, his larynx still recovering from last issue’s interminable storytelling. But when we do see him, he’s described as Lilandra’s ‘Terran consort’. Bloody hell. Imagine being a ‘Terran consort’. That’s the good stuff.
Next issue: I guess Moses Magnum, Master of the Magnum Force becomes King of Japan.