Justice League of America - Issue 28
Featuring the twin menaces of Headmaster Mind and United Nations injunctions
The Justice League (aka the Justice League of America, aka the JLA, aka Justice League International, aka Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021)) is a collection of the DC Universe’s greatest heroes (and also Green Arrow).
I talked about why I love the JLA in this piece here. Now I’m breaking down each and every issue of the comic book, from their very first appearance, with Atom-sized summaries. Enjoy!
PREVIOUSLY
What do 1960s children most want in a funny-book about a team of superheroes? That’s right. Heavy-handed bureaucracy. And so we begin with the villainous Headmaster Mind (yes, that is his name, yes, he is a teacher, and yes, his henchmen are formally enrolled as his students) who has invented a device that converts whatever mysterious substance the JLA produces when they use their powers into natural disasters. He dubs this substance ‘cardial energy’, a phrase that was invented forty minutes before deadline, and uses it to force the Justice League to mess up a routine iceberg incident, like a commonplace captain of the Titanic. The UN promptly passes a strongly-worded injunction about superpowers, which leaves the non-powered Batman and somehow even more non-powered Green Arrow, to solve the entire scheme by checking passenger lists and customs records and the like. While those two get heavily into the cross-referencing, the rest of the team - Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, Superman, Aquaman, the Atom - defeat their assigned B-tier villains (eg, ‘The Tattooed Man’ - a nemesis from an era where tattoos were a defining characteristic or ‘The Top’, a foe who can pirouette without becoming too badly dizzy). They manage this without using any of their powers, just to shove it in the UN’s overly officious faces. The important thing is that Batman has gone through the customs records and found the villain’s home address, and everything else from there is a formality. “Hey,” says Snapper Carr. “You could have used me! I don’t have any powers either.” But Batman’s not having it. “You shut your goddamn mouth, you ghastly little creep.”
Fun With Comics!
MVP
You’d think it’d be Green Lantern, for magnificently overcoming the inability to use his powers by instead using ten pin bowling skills to take down The Tattooed Man, while simultaneously bragging about all the hot date night action he has with Carol Ferris.
But then you also remember that GL drove to JLA HQ in a yellow car. I know you’re not using your power ring (which, ‘due to a necessary impurity, Green Lantern rings are powerless against’), Hal, but you shouldn’t even have a car that colour. What in blazes are you thinking?
Top Panel
Wait, what? Wonder Woman puts on shows above Paradise Island to entertain passing men? This feels somehow even less canon than ‘cardial energy’.
Villain Cryptic Crossword Clue
A school for villains? This troubled man had demerits. (10, 4)
Next Issue: THE JSA’S BACK, BABY!