Justice League of America - Issue 15
Featuring the twin menaces of intangible stone giants and canoe slacking off
The Justice League (aka the Justice League of America, aka the JLA, aka Justice League International, aka Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021)) is a collection of the DC Universe's greatest heroes (and also Green Arrow).
I talked about why I love the JLA in this piece here. Now I’m breaking down each and every issue of the comic book, from their very first appearance, with Atom-sized summaries. Enjoy!
It’s the middle of the Cold War, which means, even in children’s comic books, every nation on Earth is showing off the weapons and defence systems they’ll need to survive a nuclear conflict. What they haven’t taken into consideration, though, is the very real possibility that conveniently intangible stone giants from a different Earth, separated in time from us by precisely one minute (whatever that means), would arrive to steal all those weapons and use them to destroy us all! Didn’t think of that, did you, Oppenheimer? You Oscar-winning idiot! Luckily, the JLA spring into action, and, through the judicious use of plot-solving shortcuts powered by Green Lantern’s power ring (genuine Hal dialogue: ‘I deliberately willed the ring to leave me and go to the giants! Ah, now they’re disappearing into wherever it is they came from… just as I planned’), eventually save the day.
Fun With Comics!
MVP
It’s Aquaman! While that panicking buffoon, Green Arrow, is bemoaning his criminal lack of foresight in not previously designing a falling-nuclear-missile-catching arrow, Arthur is sensibly bailing, straight into the nearest river. ‘Good luck with the nuke, Ollie!’
Top Panel
An amazing panel, as various members of the JLA are summoned to the case. First, you’ve got Aquaman, riding a dolphin like a complete dick. The fish (and, yes, yes, water-based mammals) are his friends, people! How often do you force your friends to carry you around on their back?
Meanwhile, Bats is flying a jet at far too low an altitude. There are buildings around, my man. I don’t care how much money you have. Listen to your air traffic controller.
And then, out of nowhere, we see ‘Ray (Atom) Palmer in a canoe’. Because, honestly, where else would you expect to find Ray (Atom) Palmer? (I also like his girlfriend, Jean Loring, just lazing there, leaning back, doing none of the paddle work, draping a hand in the river. The swinging sixties!)
Honestly, let’s ignore these stupid stone giants and follow these three around for a while, and see what happens next.
Villain Cryptic Crossword Clue
The disUnited Nations gets attacked by other-Earthly villains (5, 6)
Next Issue: MUSICAL MIND CONTROL!
