Justice League of America - Issue 16
Featuring the twin menaces of musical mind control and well-written plots
The Justice League (aka the Justice League of America, aka the JLA, aka Justice League International, aka Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021)) is a collection of the DC Universe's greatest heroes (and also Green Arrow).
I talked about why I love the JLA in this piece here. Now I’m breaking down each and every issue of the comic book, from their very first appearance, with Atom-sized summaries. Enjoy!
Okay, folks. Strap in. This one’s wild. On the way to a regularly scheduled JLA meeting, the various members of the team are all distracted by random pop-up crimes that have attracted vast numbers of onlookers, inexplicably dancing like some kind of flash mob (not to be confused with a Flash mob). What’s weirder is that, upon investigation, our heroes are also compelled to break out in dance. Imagine if this took place in the town from Footloose! Fortunately, their JLA training allows them to tap into the power of teamwork to overcome this irresistible urge to dance, and the team convenes to track down the villain responsible - a musical menace named The Maestro. Simple premise, right? Wrong. Because when they go to bring The Maestro to justice, they discover that he merely pretended to use music to compel them to dance, and that the real compulsion to dance was powered by some kind of mental ray, and that the protections they put into place (standard issue JLA ear plugs) are therefore ineffective. The team is then trapped in separate spheres where they can’t use teamwork to escape. Classic predicament, right? Wrong. Because it turns out that none of this took place, and this is all just a work of fiction that’s being read to the Justice League by Snapper Carr, channeling real prototype Grant Morrison energy. Did Snapper write this story himself? No. This nefarious plot has been instead sent to them by a fan of the JLA who, concerned he had come up with an inescapable plot that might fall into a villain’s hands who could use it to defeat the team once and for all, instead wrote it down and sent it - presumably via standard US mail - to warn them what might someday happen. Luckily, after several long moments of deep contemplation, the Atom works out a loophole to escape the scheme (something to do with Superman spraying his entire body with lead paint - classic Atom solution), and, satisfied, everybody heads home, as we (along with the children reading this in the 1960s) lean back, close the comic, and stare at the ceiling fan for at least an hour as we try to come to grips with what in blazes just happened in our superhero funny book.
Fun With Comics!
MVP
It’s Batman. Everybody else in the team is struggling and straining against being compelled to dance. Not Bruce. Instead, he leans into it, breakdancing up a storm, popping and locking like nobody’s business. Does he also do the Batusi at some point? I’m going to say he does.
Top Panel
Damn straight, Flash. Show some respect to writers. (And, fine, editors too, if you must. I guarantee you that the editor altered the original dialogue to get some credit in this panel.)
Still, great panel. Excellent writing. Look how perplexed they all are, trying to plot the solution to this story. Yeah, think about it, you dumb heroes. You’d be nothing without writers.
Oh, and here’s a bonus ad that closes out this story.
Weird issue, man.
Villain Cryptic Crossword Clue
This villain might be some threat! (3, 6)