Women’s World Cup - Australia v Pakistan Report Card

Featuring getting to Ash, army theme restaurants, simple plans and Morpheus off the long run

Getting To Ash
Grade: C

Australia’s second match of the tournament, against Sri Lanka, had been washed out without a ball being bowled - a sad indictment on Alyssa Healy’s captaincy. Would Meg Lanning have permitted such a vast quantity of rain to ruin a World Cup match? Of course not. This is established canon.

Nevertheless, the Australians were looking for redemption after that dropped point. And here was their opportunity, once again in Colombo, this time taking on Pakistan, a team who have never beaten them in this format.

Pakistan won the toss and elected to bowl as much spin as they could. Australia’s game plan? Based on how things went against New Zealand, let’s just get to Ash Gardner as soon as possible.

And so there came an understanding - Australia fell to 4/59 after the openers were both caught, mistiming deliveries that held up in the pitch, before Ellyse Perry and Annabel Sutherland both perished via left arm spinner Nashra Sandhu.

This brought Gardner to the crease. Job done from the Australian top order. Well played, ladies. Unfortunately for Australia, however, the number one ranked all-rounder had somehow been left out of the loop. And not just left out of the loop, misjudging the loop as she was caught at midwicket five balls and one run later.

Australia 5/60, and perhaps at slight risk of not reaching 300.

Army Theme Restaurants
Grade: C+

But only a slight risk, of course. Because this is Australia and pretty much no matter how big a mess they get themselves into, they still somehow find their way to a total of 300+.

Here, they decided to make that mess as big as humanly possible - a sprawling army theme restaurant of a thing - losing two more cheap wickets to fall to 7/76.

The previous day, England had stumbled to 6/103 in pursuit of Bangladesh’s 178, and the prospect of one of the biggest upsets in World Cup history had loomed. England, however, avoided a shock defeat, thanks to a gritty and determined partnership between Heather Knight and an imaginative third umpire.

But the excitement surrounding that potential upset was nothing compared to the prospect of Pakistan knocking off Australia.

This 2025 tournament hadn’t had a truly close and thrilling game. (In stark contrast to the previous ODI World Cup, where every other match went down to the wire. (Well, excluding the ones Australia were playing in, the eventual winners dreamily steamrollering through an undefeated tournament, utterly oblivious to the captivating contests in which everyone else was involved.))

Could this be the first close match of this 2025 World Cup?

Oh, you naive fools.

Simple Plans
Grade: B+

Because Kim Garth joined Beth Mooney, who explained the nuances of the situation to her.

“Don’t hit it in the fucken air. Don’t let a straight one through. Don’t advance down the pitch and fucken miss it. Fucken simple, Kim.”

“Should I also get an inside edge on any LBW shouts against me?”

“Of course you fucken should.”