The Confabulannotated Sherlock Holmes, Chapter 3.5
Featuring Tolkien zealots, flippancy rolls and Phosphorick the Gaslit
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Previously on my confabulannotations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes mystery, The Hound of the Baskervilles: Dr Mortimer counted down the arrival of Henry Baskerville!
And now, the story continues…
“Why should he not go to the home of his fathers1?”
“It seems natural, does it not? And yet, consider that every Baskerville who goes there meets with an evil fate. I feel sure that if Sir Charles could have spoken with me before his death he would have warned me against bringing this, the last of the old race2, and the heir to great wealth, to that deadly place. And yet it cannot be denied3 that the prosperity of the whole poor, bleak countryside depends upon his presence. All the good work which has been done by Sir Charles will crash to the ground if there is no tenant of the Hall. I fear lest I should be swayed too much by my own obvious interest in the matter, and that is why I bring the case before you and ask for your advice.”
Holmes considered for a little time4.
“Put into plain words, the matter is this,” said he. “In your opinion there is a diabolical agency which makes Dartmoor an unsafe abode for a Baskerville—that is your opinion?”
“At least I might go the length of saying that there is some evidence that this may be so5.”
“Exactly. But surely, if your supernatural theory be correct, it could work the young man evil in London as easily as in Devonshire6. A devil with merely local powers like a parish vestry7 would be too inconceivable a thing8.”
“You put the matter more flippantly9, Mr. Holmes, than you would probably do if you were brought into personal contact with these things. Your advice, then, as I understand it, is that the young man will be as safe in Devonshire as in London. He comes in fifty minutes10. What would you recommend?”
In very early drafts of this novel, there was no hound at all! Instead, much of the mystery was intended to revolve around the true identity of Henry Baskerville’s father, with up to six (6) possible candidates, each with their own comical quirks and upsetting bigotry.
Our first hint that the Baskervilles are elves (or ‘fair folk’)? No, despite the frenzied claims of later Tolkien zealots.
Ironically, almost all modern economists would deny this.
It is canon that Holmes kept a tiny pocket watch the size of his thumbnail precisely for these ‘little time’ considerations.
FFS, Mortimer. The phrase you’re searching for is ‘Yes’.
To this day, London and Devonshire are considered natural rivals for up-and-coming evildoing demons. Much like Oxford and Cambridge for up-and-coming scholars or Netflix and Amazon Prime for up-and-coming dreadful streaming movie screenplays.
A parish vestry was, quite simply, anybody in a parish who wore a vest that made them look sultry.
Holmes has clearly never heard of Phosphorick the Gaslit, a minor imp bound to a single streetlamp in Farringdon Road, whose go-to move was insisting to mortals that he’s definitely granted their wishes, despite all evidence to the contrary.
In the Sherlock Holmes tabletop role-playing game, players in the role of Holmes get a +4 (!) on their Flippancy Roll vs Demonic Claims.
Conan Doyle’s ongoing rigidity in the countdown to Henry Baskerville’s arrival is widely and erroneously believed to be an inspiration for the timepiece-ticking, torture-trivialising, techno-terrorism television drama 24.
Mortimer was clearly going for some sort of an award for "Best Bet Hedging" there :P