Australian Survivor Report Card - Australia v The World - Episode 8
Featuring going to the end, tropes, flashbacks, tearing advantages in two and obvious boots
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PREVIOUSLY ON AUSTRALIAN SURVIVOR: World Tribe tensions bubbled, Parvati was troubled, and the vote-out was doubled
Going To The End
Grade: F
After Tribal Council, Parvati confronts Lisa about wanting to vote her out. Lisa tries to stand her ground, arguing very calmly and reasonably that the plan to blindside Parv had nothing to do with her. It was one of Tommi’s crazy schemes.
“Tommi?” says Parv, raising a sceptical eyebrow.
“Or Kass,” says Lisa, without missing a beat. “The point is, it was the plan of somebody who is no longer in the game and who therefore can’t contradict my story. Maybe Tony.”
“Well, I can believe it from Tony,” says Parv.
So, good work from Lisa, you’re probably thinking. Now, surely, everybody else, having seen the powerful trinkets Parvati has in her possession, will put their differences aside, and use this one opportunity when they have sufficient numbers to split the vote on her and Cirie to take a shot at them, and ensure that they have a cha—
But no, because here’s Luke and Janine, wandering off, talking about wanting to go to the end with Parvati and Cirie.
Why in blazes would you want to go to the end with Parvati and Cirie?!? It’s an incredibly dangerous thing to do. It’s like deciding to go to the end with a pair of salt water crocodiles.
Go to a restaurant with Parvati and Cirie? Sure. Go to the movies? No doubt. But go to the end? No, thank you.
Tropes
Grade: B+
This final four deal between Luke, Janine, Parvati and Cirie means, instead, that Lisa is on the bottom (Shonee has taken the episode off), something she leans into with glee.
“I get to do the ‘being on the bottom’ tropes!” she says, dorkily delighted at the prospect, and she walks us through them, as the editors give us a beautiful montage of Lisa demonstrating the various tropes as she describes them.
“There’s ‘walking along the beach by myself’,” she begins. Cut to Lisa walking along the beach by herself.
“There’s ‘sitting in the shelter looking off and no-one’s talking to me’,” she continues. Cut to Lisa sitting in the shelter looking off and no-one’s talking to her.
“There’s ‘taking my rice last’.” Cut to Lisa taking her rice last.
“And, of course, there’s the classic ‘being on the bottom’ trope of ‘being so self-aware and meta that you talk about the ‘being on the bottom’ tropes while the editors build a montage of your ‘being on the bottom’ tropes’.” Cut to the editors scratching their heads and wondering if they need to be putting in footage of themselves editing this sequence?
Curse you and your fourth wall breaking ways, Lisa!!
Flashbacks
Grade: D
Speaking of montages, we head to the immunity challenge via one - a flashback to the grimmest day in Australian Survivor history, apparently. Vivid, slow-motion footage with echoey JLP commentary of the day Luke lost the classic game of Ball Drop’n’Catch (Stair Edition)!
Luke wanders into the challenge, sees the set-up and immediately goes pale, blood draining from his face. He mutters to himself as the memories - the memories he worked so hard to suppress - come flooding back, hitting him like bullets. He falls to his knees, screaming in horror.
“The balls! The balls!” he cries. “The ill-timed balls.”
Luke begins to shake. The terror consumes him, his lungs burning as he futilely gasps for air. “They’ll come too fast,” he mutters to himself. “They always come too fast.” And he collapses in a heap, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Ha ha ha!” chuckles JLP, in that way he has. “I take it you remember this challenge, Luke?”
But Luke’s mind has gone.
Luckily, however, an empty mind is the key to this challenge, and, soul stripped bare, this shaken husk of a man triumphs, and receives the immunity necklace from JLP.
Does he understand what this means? He does not. But he won’t be going home tonight. Or, perhaps, ever…
Tearing Advantages in Two
Grade: D+
Actually, no. Turns out Luke is fine. But he does have one problem still to solve. Namely, the prospect of Parvati stealing his idol.
First, he makes the seeming mistake of telling Parvati about his idol. Aha, savvy fans of the game immediately think. A cunning ploy to perhaps allow him to hand off the idol to Janine so Parv can’t steal it. Well played, Luke.
Of course, Parvati is also a savvy fan of the game, and might foresee this possibility and deliciously steal the idol from Janine instead. That would be great television, obviously.
Instead, Luke asks Parvati to tear up her advantage! That way, they can trust one another to go to final three together.
Come on, Luke. This is Parvati Shallow, you’re dealing with. She doesn’t give up advantages. She makes others give up their advantages.
Except, no! Somehow, Luke convinces Parv to tear her Steal-An-Idol advantage in two. Why would she do that?
Well, perhaps she’s seen enough Australian Survivor to know there’s a better-than-even chance that the producers will decree that she now has two Steal-An-Idol advantages.
Worth a try, for sure.
Obvious Boots
Grade: D-
Time for tribal council. Who’s going home?
Well, Lisa.
So obvious is it that the players don’t even bother with the whispers.
On the plus side, Lisa gets to do the ‘frustrated with being the inevitable vote out’ trope, so, in a way, it works out for everybody.
Especially Parvati and Cirie. I still can’t believe they didn’t split the votes on those two.
Dan vs The World
Okay. I had Lisa as my fifth most likely person to go (out of six) this episode. Crazy talk from me, especially in comparison with Cat, who had Lisa as most likely to go. A strong win from Cat, whose return from Redemption Rock has proved fruitful. The World team therefore closes the gap in this competition to 4-2.
Here are my rankings for who I think is most likely to be voted out in the next episode from most likely to least likely.
Janine (honestly, Shonee should probably now side with the Australians and take out Cirie, but it doesn’t feel like she’s going to)
Shonee
Cirie
Luke
Parvati
Taking me on for this penultimate episode is the fourth and final member of this season’s Previously on Australian Survivor podcast, Fiona, who believes this upcoming vote will shake down as follows:
Janine (did better than we thought!!)
Cirie (they have to unfortunately)
Luke (something wacky and lucky will befall him)
Parvati (she’s just so good)
Shonee (says my heart)
Can Fiona continue the World Team’s inspirational comeback? Let’s see.
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