World Test Championship Final Report Card, Day Four

Featuring Cameron Green's pads and Cameron Green's fingers

Cameron Green’s Pads
Grade: F

Australia lost Marnus Labuschagne early on the first day. Not just his wicket, but Marnus himself, as the eccentric number three was last seen sleepwalking out of the dressing room and into a nearby sewer drain where he was presumably devoured by an evil clown who lives under London. That clown’s name? (Insert local political satire here.)

The loss of Labuschagne had Australia in trouble. Yes, they were still well ahead of the game, but the innings desperately needed to be regenerated if they were to push the fourth innings run chase beyond India’s reach.

Luckily, basic Anagram Theory teaches us that if you need regeneracy, that’s when you call in Green-Carey.

The pair slowly but surely put a partnership together. With the emphasis on the ‘slowly’ part, particularly for Cameron Green, who made his way to a stodgy 25 (95) before trying to pad Ravindra Jadeja away, only for the ball to deflect back onto his stumps.

The lesson is clear. After all, if Cameron Green can’t pad a ball away successfully, can anybody? (Explanation of joke: Green’s pads are very big. Because he’s tall.)

Hopefully Green practises his padding away a bit more at next year’s IPL. That’s where those kinds of skills are best honed.