World Test Championship Final, Day Two Report Card

Featuring captain-on-captain violence, Point Break, shandies, angering Haydos and edging in front of slip

Captain-on-Captain Violence
Grade: D-

Foolishly, Australia started day two by moving away from the previous night’s tactic of allowing virtually no runs while taking regular wickets. A colossal failure from the brains trust, and one that South Africa - and captain Temba Bavuma, in particular - exploited. At one point, Bavuma pulled Pat Cummins over the fence for six, as South Africa aimed for first innings parity.

The Game of Cricket - Parity

For most of the session, it appeared as if the closest Australia would get to a wicket would be when the umpire signalled ‘two balls to come in the over’ by holding up two fingers and the slim possibility that this dual-fingered gesture might result in both batters mistakenly thinking they were out and wandering off.

But no, Australia couldn’t get this to work either. Instead, they called upon Marnus Labuschagne to take a leaping catch at cover off the bowling of Cummins to finally send Bavuma on his way.

This captain-on-captain violence is awful to see. Bavuma hitting Cummins for six. Cummins dismissing Bavuma in retaliation. Let’s settle things down, lads. Set an example.

Point Break
Grade: A+

But Pat was in no mood to set an example. Instead, after tea, he suddenly tore through the remainder of the South African batting lineup.

First, he had Kyle Verreynne trapped LBW, with one that jagged back and appeared to the naked eye as if it was missing leg stump.

Fortunately for Australia, the fully clothed eyes of the ball projection suggested the ball was instead crashing into leg stump. Although, to be fair, it may have mistaken that collision with the one in the middle of the pitch when Cummins’ backward-running appeal banged into Verreynne’s ball-watching leg bye, sending both players tumbling entangled to the ground like wired earbuds falling from your pocket or that incredibly sexy love scene near the end of Point Break where Bodhi and Johnny Utah leap out of a plane together.

After that re-enactment, Cummins then ripped through the rest of the South Africa batting, sending them into the equivalent of wild Bells Beach waves. Cummins finished with 6/28, and his 300th wicket, as South Africa lost 5/12 to be 138 all out.

5/12 is a great ‘hold my beer’ collapse from the South Africa tail. Why the two tails are drinking beer in the first place remains a mystery, however.

Although, I guess it explains the collapses.

Shandies
Grade: C