West Indies v Australia Second Test, Day Two Report Card

Featuring memos, running backwards and declaration apathy

Memos
Grade: C

I was late to start for day two of the Test, thanks to staying up late, entranced by the goings-on over in the third England v India Test, which was careering to a truly thrilling and mad conclusion.

But I still rose in time to see Alex Carey dropping a couple of relatively straightforward chances behind the wicket. Mitch Starc took the first drop more or less in giant stride, as you’d expect from a bowler playing his hundredth Test. What, you’re going to get annoyed every time a catch is dropped by one of your idiot fielders? Who do you think you are, Mohammed Siraj?

Scott Boland, without the same level of experience to draw on however, didn’t shrug off Carey’s clumsy gloves quite so readily. Instead, he turned around and went back to the top of his mark, then simply bowled Shai Hope next ball.

At 6/124, the plan seemed to be to no longer rely on Carey in any way to help take wickets. Even Sam Konstas, running around in the outfield, got the memo. (Do kids get memos these days? Of course they do. They can’t get enough of them. “Did you get the memo?” they’ll message one another, through their preferred communication medium, be that WhatsApp or TikTok or MineCraft in-game chat. “It’s spelled ‘meme’,” they’ll then be told, and there will be much laughter and inexplicable use of brainrot terminology.)

Sorry, where was I?

Oh, yes. Konstas got the meme about not trusting Carey’s gloves and secured the run out of Justin Greaves with a direct throw to Boland at the bowler’s end.

Running Backwards
Grade: A+

Those two Carey-less wickets were part of a collapse of 5/19, which gave Cummins’ men an 82-run lead on the first innings.

However, those damn fool Australians had fallen straight into the West Indies trap. Because the last wicket of that collapse signalled tea. And the last sip of that tea signalled a session under lights.