The Definitive Ranking of Every Superman Movie

Want to know how every single Superman movie ranks? Here you go…

8th Best - Superbad (2007)

Set during Superman’s awkward high school years, the Teen of Steel (Jonah Hill) and his best friend Pete ‘Evan’ Ross (Michael Cera) try to purchase alcohol for a debaucherous party thrown by redheaded love interest, Lana Lang (Emma Stone), only for the plan to descend into comical chaos, thanks to a fake ID, a pair of bumbling cops and a lengthy debate about Kryptonian legal drinking ages.

7th Best - Super Size Me (2004)

Superman embarks on a 30-day experiment where he eats only McLuthorCorp meals, in an attempt to highlight just how dangerous the fast food industry is. Unfortunately, his yellow sun-heightened Kryptonian metabolism means this nutritional misstep has no impact on him, leading to a legally actionable endorsement for the McBadger Chewy Meal™ splashed all over the front page of The Daily Planet.

6th Best - Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Superman (Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo) adopts an inexplicable new secret identity as two (2) Italian-American plumbers, and is immediately pulled into a surreal parallel dimension where he must defeat the combined forces of the evil King Koopa (Dennis Hopper), a whole bunch of dinosaur-people, and system-wide piping code violations.

5th Best - Super Troopers (2001)

In a misguided attempt to broaden his appeal for the 21st century, Superman (Jay Chandrasekhar) joins a group of mischievous Vermont state troopers obsessed with practical jokes. As always, however, kryptonite-based horseplay leads to tears, and after pinning a drug-related murder on, oh, let’s say, The Toyman, Clark returns to the less-hijinks based crimefighting home base of Metropolis.

4th Best - Super 8 (2011)

Under the watchful eye of JJ Abrams, Superman (Kyle Chandler) is reimagined as super-powered integer, Super-8, locked in arithmetical battle against his evil arch-nemesis, the criminumeral scientist, Lex Lu-4. This thrilling mathematical adventure is, alas, a box office disaster following a boycott instigated by radio shock jocks who rail against Super-8 being portrayed as a Hindu-Arabic numeral.

3rd Best - Changing Lanes (2002)

Clark Kent (Ben Affleck) and a recovering alcoholic insurance salesman (Samuel L. Jackson) collide in a car accident on a chaotic Metropolis morning, sparking a vicious and convoluted cycle of road rage revenge that somehow eventually leads to Superman dumping long-time girlfriend Lois Lane (Toni Collette) for her annoying younger sister Lucy (Toni Collette in pigtails).

2nd Best - Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

A film adaptation of the acclaimed musical stage play, this retelling of the story of Superman leans way heavier into the Jesus imagery than any previous version in any medium. Does Superman really have superpowers such as Super-Leprosy Healing, Super-Loaf-And-Fish-Duplication and Super-Water-Walking? He does now. Is he vulnerable to frankincense radiation? Apparently so. Does The Daily Planet deliver its news via sermons on mounts? Look, shut up.

Best - Duck Soup (1933)

Egged on by the villainous master criminal Lex Luthor (Chico Marx), international tensions arise between Boravian dictator Rufus T Firefly (Groucho Marx) and the neighbouring country of Jarhanpur. Superman (Harpo Marx) wordlessly intervenes, much to the consternation of girlfriend/reporter/flying saucer pilot Lois Lane (Zeppo Marx) and Justice Gang members, Guy Gardner (Karl Marx), Mr Terrific (Richard Marx) and Hawkgirl (Haliey Welch). Eventually, the entire plot is revealed to be a convoluted shaggy superdog (Krypto) story that leads to the groan-inducing final battle warning of ‘duck, Supe!’