South Africa v Australia Fifth ODI Report Card

Featuring lumberjackery, waiting impatiently for the fireworks factory and the Asia Cup final

Lumberjackery Grade: B+

Now, finally! The decider to a series that had gripped two nations. Admittedly, Australia were not necessarily one of those nations, given the time zone in which the series was played and the ongoing semi-finals in assorted winter football codes. And based on the local crowd being far more interested in highlights of a World Cup rugby union match shown on the big screen between overs, South Africa may not have been one of the nations gripped by the series either. But surely there are two countries somewhere that have been gripped. Get a United Nations task force onto this and sort it out.

Australia, gluttons for punishment, decided they’d chase an enormous target yet again, and struck early via a Marnus Labuschagne run out of Temba Bavuma.

Bavuma was called through for a single by Quinton de Kock after being struck in the ribs. Too polite to hold up a hand to say ‘hey, Quinton, I’d really rather grimace in pain for a few moments, thanks, mate’, Bavuma set off late, and Labuschagne ran him out with a direct hit.

What I particularly liked was that before the stumps were felled, Quinton de Kock shouted ‘TEMBA!’. A post-cricket career in South African-accented lumberjackery awaits him.

Still, pretty cruel of the commentators to go on and on about how Bavuma was ‘a long way short’.

(Explanation: because he’s not a very tall man.)