Men’s Ashes First Test Report Card, Day One

Featuring marking run-ups, overcordialed toddlers and crumbling edifices

Marking Run-Ups
Grade: A

The first Ashes Test began with some magnificent trolling from Mitch Marsh, who, for reasons known only to himself, began marking his run-up shortly after Scott Boland had marked his and before there’d been any appearance from either Josh Hazlewood or Mitchell Starc.

Marsh’s efforts swiftly had everybody at the ground in a dither. …