A man walks into an Apple Store
MAN: One apple, please.
WOMAN: (sighing) It’s not that kind of apple store, sir.
MAN: Are you saying you don’t sell apples?
WOMAN: Of course we don’t. You know that.
MAN: I know no such thing. I was simply overcome with a craving for a juicy apple, and then, noticing I was outside a so-called Apple Store, I thought to myself ‘well, there’s a stroke of luck’, and ventured inside to purchase one.
WOMAN: No you didn’t.
MAN: I’m sorry?
WOMAN: That’s not what happened.
MAN: Are you claiming I don’t want an apple?
WOMAN: I don’t know whether you want an apple or not. What I do know is that you didn’t actually believe this store would sell you an apple.
MAN: How, pray tell, am I supposed to know that an Apple Store would not be in the position to sell me an apple?
WOMAN: Because we are one of the biggest companies in the world, with a globally known set of products, none of which are apples.
MAN: One of the biggest companies in the world?
WOMAN: Immensely profitable, yes.
MAN: But you don’t sell apples.
WOMAN: No.
MAN: Despite advertising yourselves as an ‘apple store’?
WOMAN: (shrugs)
MAN: What do you sell then?
WOMAN: (gesturing around the store) Phones—
MAN: (incredulous) You sell phones made out of apples?!
WOMAN: No.
MAN: The very thought boggles the mind.
WOMAN: We sell phones made out of electronics.
MAN: How would a phone made out of an apple even work??
WOMAN: It wouldn’t. (Changing subject) We also sell computers.
MAN: (opening mouth)
WOMAN: They’re not made of apples either.
MAN: (lying) I wasn’t even going to ask.
WOMAN: (giving him a disbelieving stare) And other things as well. Maybe you’re interested in an Apple Watch?
MAN: Is it—
WOMAN: (interrupting immediately) No. It’s not. Nothing here is made of apples.
MAN: So why do you call it an apple store?
WOMAN: Because that’s the name of the company.
MAN: The company that doesn’t sell apples.
WOMAN: Yes.
MAN: (looking at the woman’s badge) And you’re supposed to be a genius?
WOMAN: Yes.
MAN: (mocking) Such an enormous genius that you run a so-called ‘apple store’ that doesn’t sell a single apple.
WOMAN: That is correct.
MAN: You never thought, as a ‘genius’, in an ‘immensely profitable’ company, that maybe it might be a sensible idea to have just a small section, perhaps in the corner of the store, where somebody might buy an apple.
WOMAN: No.
MAN: Just on the off-chance that they, like me, might wander in here and attempt to make the perfectly reasonable decision to purchase an apple from the Apple Store.
WOMAN: It’s not a perfectly reasonable decision. You’re deliberately wasting my time.
MAN: I am not. I simply wanted to purchase an apple.
WOMAN: (frowning) For real?
MAN: Of course.
WOMAN: Huh.
She looks from side to side, making sure that nobody is watching, then opens a drawer and pulls out an apple.
WOMAN: Fine. Here.
MAN: (delighted) Aha! I knew it.
WOMAN: That’ll be $1200.