Final - England v Australia Women’s T20 World Cup Report Card

Featuring Morpheus off the short run, feet and wishing England luck

Morpheus Off The Short Run

Somehow this match took place at an even more inconvenient time than any of Australia’s previous matches. Too late to stay up for. Too early to get up for. Annoying. All we could really do was get some sleep and hope the better team won.

And phew, they did.

Here’s what I missed via limerick.

A half-century to Nat Sciver-Brunt
Saw England well out in front
(I mean, that’s technically true
Even though 150’s too few
To keep Australia out of the hunt)

Feet
Grade: B+

Oh, and yes. That was just a first innings limerick. Because, heroically, my eyes flicked open a handful of deliveries into the Australian run chase. Just in time to watch Georgia Voll hit a free hit from Lauren Bell to the boundary and then get out.

Game on?

No. Game over. Because Phoebe Litchfield’s dancing feet then joined the reliably striding feet of Beth Mooney for a century partnership that took place on one of those airport travelators. The duo raced along at the better part of ten runs an over, seemingly oblivious to the actual required run rate.

It was fearless batting. How fearless, you might ask? Well, remember when I started a limerick with a line that ended in ‘Nat Sciver-Brunt’? Yeah, more fearless than that.

Wishing England Luck
Grade: B+

Even after Litchfield was out, that just brought Ellyse fucken Perry to the crease. And even when Mooney was out, that just brought Ash fucken Gardner to the crease. Good luck, England!

And, of course, even when Perry was out, caught at mid-off by a tumbling Sophie Ecclestone, that just (somehow) brought Ellyse fucken Perry back to the crease.

How does that even work? Well, despite the fact that Ecclestone obviously took a low catch cleanly, fingers under the ball, the third umpire gave Perry not out. A risky decision, given the rowdy reputation of the Lord’s members and their infamous tendency to erupt like the tie-wearing pustules of privilege that they are if an umpiring decision ever goes Australia’s way.

Controversial decision, yes, but on a bigger level, it still felt like the correct one. After all, Perry was apparently at risk of missing this World Cup final with something called ‘quad awareness’. Did we really want to needlessly limit our opportunities to watch one of the greatest to ever play the game bat at Lord’s when it would make no difference to the result?

Of course not. To paraphrase WG Grace, this enormous crowd came to watch Perry bat, not Ecclestone take tumbling catches. (And even if that wasn’t what they actually came to watch, that’s what they should have come to watch.)

Good decision. Proper umpiring.

Anyway, Australia won the game an over or so later via five wides from the innocuous Ecclestone. A fitting finale, as Australia once again reported some ‘World Cup awareness’, regaining (via an undefeated tournament with a record net run rate) one of the two trophies they carelessly misplaced in previous editions.

A fine World Cup, with a correct result. Welcome aboard to anybody who joined the women’s cricket train along the way. Great to have you here. And, of course, a gentle reminder to mind The Gap™.