England v West Indies First Test, Day Two Report Card

Featuring emojis, crediting the bowler and Morpheus off the short run

Emojis
Grade: C+

England started the day with Joe Root and Harry Brook at the crease, both looking to score enough runs for social media wags to replace the double-o’s in their surnames with wide-eye emojis.

Sadly, Brook was out for an even fifty runs, the kind of score that’s more worthy of maybe a sly winking face, or that one that’s kind of going ‘hmmm’.

Root, meanwhile, had donned the sunglasses emoji, cruising along effortlessly. Sure, he somehow appeared to be a couple of inches taller than when I last saw him play, but that’s probably just some Bazball nonsense the boys at the ECB labs have been cooking up over the English winter. It didn’t change his effectiveness, as he locked in for an inevitable century. 

BAD AI IMAGE OF: ECB trialling their stretching rack

It was left to Ben Stokes to do the proper, wide-eyed emoji work. And the skipper pulled it off with the startled professionalism we’ve come to expect, bowled by Gudakesh Motie, from one that jagged sharply, and responding with stunned amazement.

Great stuff.

😳