England v Sri Lanka First Test Report Card, Day Two
Featuring natural ecological reactions and ABBA-loving law firms
Natural Ecological Reactions
Grade: D
The second day began with the return of the infamous Manchester rain. You may remember the rain from last yearâs Ashes, which helped secure Australia the urn. Good bloke, the Manchester rain.
Or so we thought. Because its return here didnât have the welcome comic impact of scuttling Englandâs resurgence in an Ashes series, an especially satisfying intervention when the Bazball thinktank had proclaimed not to have been taking the heavily predicted rain into consideration and batted on far too long because the last time inclement weather had been forecast and threatened to ruin their plans, it hadnât shown up and theyâd been able to play golf anyway, or some damn thing.
No, this time it just meant a lack of play for a session or so. Who needs that?
But perhaps Iâve misunderstood the Manchester rain completely. Perhaps itâs a natural ecological reaction to the modern England teamâs tendency to score like absolute raving lunatics.
âLook here,â the Manchester rain is saying. âWe canât have you lot scoring 400 runs in a day all the time, and if youâre going to persist in attempting to do so, Iâm just going to keep shortening the days until you realise how foolhardy youâre being.âÂ
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