England v New Zealand, Second Test, Day Three
Featuring smart catches, non-existent textbooks and Morpheus off the long run
Smart Catches
Grade: C
New Zealand began the third day determined not to make the catastrophic first session mistakes that England made the previous day. And succeeded right up until the point they failed.
Despite a couple of good square drives for four from Jofra ‘JOff-side’ Archer, he was soon undone by a smart catch from Tom Blundell, standing up to the stumps like a scoundrel.
Infuriating, isn’t it, how Bazball is trying so hard to save Test cricket only to be constantly undone by these hateful keepers standing up to the seamers trying to kill it. You wouldn’t see James Rew standing up to the stumps and taking a smart catch. You just wouldn’t.
There were a couple more smart catches from the men in black (who, if one wants to be pedantic about it, were stubbornly clad in confusing whites). Tom Latham held on to a Jordan Cox whip through mid wicket, and Nathan Smith did some clowning about jumping and juggling at mid on before hanging on to a lofted Josh Tongue hoick.
Smart stuff all round to reduce England to 9/238, a deficit of 153. A fielding display of Mensa proportions.
Non-Existent Textbooks
Grade: F
New Zealand then shoved a crayon up their nose. Sonny Baker joined Matthew Fisher and the pair put on a textbook display of maddening tail end batting, adding 53 for the final wicket. What kind of textbook, you might enthusiastically ask in your insatiable hunger for knowledge, contains such analysis of maddening tail end batting? And the sad answer is: None as far as I’m aware. A brutal indictment of the modern education system. We have failed our children.
