England v New Zealand, First Test, Day Three

Featuring mindless rain delay waffle and Morpheus off the long run

Mindless Rain Delay Waffle
Grade: B+

The third day began with rain. This was obviously a nuisance. It did, however, let the SKY commentators partake in some mindless rain delay waffling. Which, to be fair, was pretty entertaining mindless rain delay waffling. Few commentators mindlessly waffle during rain delays better than Athers, Nasser, Broady and co.

I sort of tuned out and did Sudokus on my phone for a while, because that’s the kind of Saturday evening partier that I am, but I assume they focused too much on the Ashes for a bit. Maybe they asked whether England focus too much on whether England focus too much on the Ashes. Anything is possible.

I do know that at one point I looked up, and Kane Williamson was teaching me how to bat. Which was lovely of him. A splendid chap. Sure, he tried to explain how one must choose which side of the ball you want to hit, which felt a tad show-offish. But we also know that no New Zealander would ever big themselves up like that (their number one export is hobbits, for goodness sake!), so he must have meant it. It reminds of the time Kumar Sangakkara very helpfully explained that the key to picking up which way the ball was going to swing was to have a look for the shiny side of the ball when the bowler is at the top of their mark. Righty-o, Kumar. Calm down with the super-eyes. I can barely see my batting partner’s face.

The point was that I could listen to Kane Williamson talk about batting forever. And, at one point, I feared that was exactly what was happening.

Then, of a sudden, the rain stopped! And everybody scurried back onto the field (after a forty minute lunch break) to resume play. Ollie Robinson took a couple of wickets. New Zealand scored a dozen or so runs. And then the Lord’s rain, which needs to have a long hard think about what it’s trying to achieve here, returned, and they all scurried off again.

Frustrating stuff. Especially since Ollie Robinson’s successful return means we’ll now almost certainly have to listen to an inordinate amount of tedious Haydos ‘nude nuts’ bantz next year. Is it worth it, England? Is it really worth it?

Morpheus Off The Long Run

Here’s what else I missed while I slept.

Nothing

Yes, that’s right. The rest of the day was washed out. Let’s try again tomorrow.