England v India Second Test, Day Two Report Card

Featuring punching the umpire, censoring The Human Centipede and Harry Brook Filth™

Punching The Umpire!
Grade: A

JADEJA PUNCHES UMPIRE AFTER ONFIELD DISAGREEMENT!

Look, it’s the kind of clickbait headline that clickbait headline-writers dream of, even if the facts of the matter - as they so often are - were somewhat more mundane.

For, in reality, after a few minor complaints from England, the umpire simply asked Ravindra Jadeja if he wouldn’t mind trying to get out of the danger area of the pitch a little quicker as he’s taking off for a run, and Jadeja responded with an exaggerated leap to the side of the pitch with the next single he took, before giving a laughing punch to the umpire’s shoulder when he reached the far end.

Good stuff. Good, clickbaitey stuff.

Later, of course, Jadeja came up with a different method of avoiding running on the pitch. Namely, by hitting a flurry of boundaries off Josh Tongue instead.

A little mind game victory for Team England there.

Censoring The Human Centipede
Grade: C

It was pretty much England’s only victory, as Shubman Gill and Jadeja denied Tongue access to the tail he so covets, like some kind of The Human Centipede censor.