England v India Fourth Test, Day Two Report Card

Featuring substitutions, batting like a pirate and Morpheus off the long run

Substitutions
Grade: B

With Rishabh Pant’s foot having been diagnosed by India’s medical team as ‘yeah, it’s completely fucked’, much of the chatter heading into the second day was whether Test cricket should, in general, allow substitutions for injuries such as this. (Not just Dhruv Jurel cheerily keeping wicket whenever India field, but proper concussion substitute style replacements.)

On the one hand, it seems unfair that a team should effectively play with ten men just because one of their best players has managed to reverse sweep a cricket ball into their own foot. Do we not want a fair contest? Especially if the injury takes place on the opening day, the lengthy nature of Test cricket means that the cumulative advantage of the additional fit player can significantly shape the outcome of a match. Is that really how we want important matches in important series to be determined?

The counter-argument is, of course, that professional cricketers are wily and sneaky, always looking to stretch any playing condition to its limit, if it will mean gaining an advantage. And not just Australians either! All the teams do it, so you can’t just stamp it out by hilariously waving sandpaper at them. If we can’t trust the players to have runners because they’ll take the piss with faked injuries, how in blue blazes can we trust them with full-on substitutes? Get out of here with your substitute talk. Why should cricket be fair? If you hurt yourself, too bad.

My personal opinion is that I’d allow subs during Tests not just for injuries but for any reason that takes a cricketer’s fancy. Broken foot? Substitute out. Got a wedding to go to on day three? Substitute out. You’d rather listen to a podcast? Substitute out. It’s called Test cricket for a reason and what greater test is there than fending off dozens of team mates ready to take your spot?

Batting Like A Pirate
Grade: A-

Pant, being Pant, naturally rendered the entire conversation moot, by showing up to the ground, kitted up, with reports seeping through that he’d be available to bat, if needed.