England v India First Test, Day Five Report Card

Featuring poise, complaining about the ball and Morpheus off the short run

Poise
Grade: C

Heading into the fifth and final day, this was a Test match perfectly poised, like a librarian walking a tightrope with a book on her head. Also, she’s a ballerina. And maybe a princess?

Would India’s non-Bumrah bowlers take their share of wickets? Would England bat for an entire day to reach their target? Would the rain show up to ruin things?

Yes.

First things first, though. Openers Ben Duckett and Zak Crawley had clearly decided to adopt the avant-garde tactic of (as friend of the newsletter Alex Bowden dryly put it on BlueSky) ‘see(ing) off the new ball and rein(ing) it in against their strike bowler and then play(ing) more aggressively at other times while trying to avoid rash shots’.

Yes, Bazball has changed Test cricket so dramatically and so many times that it’s come all the way back around to standard orthodoxy. Great to see.

Complaining About The Ball
Grade: D

Frustrated by their inability to take the wickets of the suddenly sensible England openers, India reverted to the modern team’s go-to tactic under such circumstances. Namely, incessant pleading with the umpire that the ball needs to be changed.

To be fair, it’s a tactic that’s had considerable success in England. On the other hand, it does get rather tiresome to see teams nagging the umpires over and over to pay attention to them, like histrionic toddlers showing off a nonsensical dance move that they saw on Uncle Cody’s TikTok.

I’ve said it before (and, indeed, written an entire piece on DRS expansion that references it), but teams should have to use a review to get the shape of the ball tested via the umpire’s Rings of Spherical Purity™.

Howlers, Bulls and Bears