Australia v England Third Test, Day Four Report Card
Featuring clowns, justifying inane nonsense, computer programming and Filthy
Clowns
Grade: C
A clown show looked as if it was about to roll into town early on the fourth day of this third Test. England fielders began climbing en masse out of a car, showing off such comical antics as diving and deflecting the ball past the fielder covering behind them. With a whimsical calliope playing in the background, Travis Head and Alex Carey therefore looked to extend the lead past half a thousand runs.
Instead, shortly after Head reached 150, he skied a delivery from Josh Tongue that Zak Crawley had the perfect opportunity to amusingly drop while holding his hand above his eyes to shade them from the glaring sun. Crawley, however, held onto the chance, lunging for the ball at the last moment to take a fine, unfunny catch that totally ruined the vibe. Every clown, back into the car.
With suddenly no comedy to be found from the England fielders, Australia decided they’d had enough of batting. The tail threw all their wickets away, starting with Josh Inglis - a great team man who saw the pressure on Cameron Green, and decided to take it all on himself instead. From 5/329, Australia were all out for 349, Mitchell Starc (7*) left stranded just short of his century once again.
Australia’s lead was 434, a total that I’ve seen South Africa sides chase down in fifty overs. Advantage England.
Justifying Inane Nonsense
Grade: B+
Of course, the flurry of lower order wickets meant the openers still had to survive an eleven-minute spell just before lunch. And, of course, they couldn’t.
This time, it was Ben Duckett who fell early. After Crawley improbably survived Starc’s opening over, Duckett clipped Pat Cummins’ first ball for four, then gently poked the next ball to Marnus Labuschagne at second slip.
Still, a fantastic strike rate for Duckett as he trudged off. Bazball’s back, baby!
